What you are describing is not merely religion failing to console. It is religion becoming a machine for inflating suffering.
A delay is normally just a delay. But once it is interpreted as punishment, it becomes a moral verdict. A disagreement is normally an unpleasant social event; once interpreted as a divinely arranged trial, it becomes part of a cosmic drama. The person no longer merely has a bad day: they feel that reality itself has turned against them.
There are several mechanisms mixed together here.
First, there is personalization. Every accidental event is imagined as being specifically addressed to the individual. Traffic, illness, fatigue, another person’s mood—all become messages about me. It can resemble humility because the person speaks constantly of God, yet psychologically it can be oddly egocentric: the entire order of the universe is supposedly rearranging itself around their minor actions and failures.
Second, there is moralization. Ordinary discomfort is no longer morally neutral. It must mean that someone sinned, failed, deserved punishment, attracted envy, lacked gratitude, or is being tested. This deprives people of the ability to say the emotionally useful sentence: something unpleasant happened, and perhaps it means nothing beyond itself.
Third, there is narrative escalation. Religion can give meaning to extreme suffering, but the same interpretive reflex, applied indiscriminately, makes minor suffering feel extreme. A person who needs every event to possess transcendent significance eventually loses any sense of proportion. A missed appointment and a bereavement begin to belong to the same vocabulary: curse, punishment, ordeal, destiny.
And there is an especially cruel consequence: suffering becomes evidence against the sufferer. They do not merely feel pain; they begin asking what is spiritually wrong with them. Instead of receiving comfort, they experience surveillance. Instead of thinking, life is difficult, they think, God is deliberately making my life difficult.
So yes, religion may help people endure what is genuinely unbearable—but only when it gives them a larger horizon without pretending to decode every detail. A calmer religiosity would leave room for ordinary causality, coincidence, human error, bad moods, biology, traffic, and simple misfortune. It would say: I do not know why this happened, and I am not entitled to invent God’s intention.
The distinction is perhaps this:
Meaning can make suffering bearable. But compulsively assigning meaning to everything can make ordinary life unbearable.
The tragedy is that people practicing the second often believe they are practicing the first.